SUCCESS!!

Its been a while since I last blogged. Last time I blogged,It was to vent on personal issues like the idiot "friend"that i USED TO HAVE. She called me after a friend of ours from HS died to tell me only that she "No longer holds any grudges"against me..still not an exact APOLOGY so fuck it. All I had to say to her and others was that I DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE...dig it?

So anyway, My "SUCCESS"--yesterday ended a crucial chapter in my life and started a fresh one. My mediport was removed because I AM IN REMISSION!! Now the only task at hand is to maintain a healthier diet and workout more because keepin cancer away is what I aim to do. I'm not lettin that shit get to me---ain't no way no how.

Classes start thursday..i'm hype. Can't wait to get back and do my thing, c an't wait to f l y again....paul and I might join the Air Force too right after I graduate..besties doin ti for themselves lol. At least we won't be lonely when we join because we'll have eachother for support.

Good bye yesteryear, hello 2010.

BULLSHIT FRIENDS PT.2

SO....APPARENTLY, THE BITCH TXTED ME AGAIN SOMETIME YESTERDAY AFTERNOON AFTER 1 AND SHE SAYS SOMETHIN LIKE"IF YOU BEEN TEXTIN AND I AIN'T BEEN RESPONDIN,ITS CUS I'M IGNORING YOU. OUR FRIENDSHIP IS OVER". YAY, I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY BOUT U RIDIN MY DICK NO MORE!!

OK...SO..U GET MAD AT ME OVER SOME PETTY SHIT? BECAUSE I TOLD YOU I MAY GO AWAY AND CULD'NT HANG OUT WITH YOU? BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME U WERE GOIN TO VIRGINIA AND I DIDN'T CALL YOU? WHAT AM I,UR FUCKIN MOTHER? LIKE,WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND DOES THAT? I TELL YOU, THE OLDER I GET, THE MORE WISER I BECOME AND THE MORE MATURE I PRESENT MYSELF CUS I CARRY MYSELF THE WAY I'M SUPPOSED TO. I SHOULD BE A BITCH AND CALL HER MOM TO LET HER KNOW THAT SHE'S FUCKIIKN AOUND WITH SOME 31YR OLD GUY..

WELL..IT DON'T HURT ME TO STOP TALKIN TO PEOPLE WHO ACT LIKE 5DAY OLD BABIES-CRYIN AND CARRYING ON CUS THEY DON'T KNOW NOTHIN BETTER TO DO.
PEOPLE ARE FULL OF SHIT-WHEN SHE TXTD ME THAT MESSAGE, I ADMIT I GOT UPSET BUT THEN LIKE A CRAZY PERSON,I STARTED LAUGHIN AT IT LIKE,"WOW! YOU STOP BEIN MY FRIEND CUS I DIDN'T HANG OUT WITH YOU?BECAUSE MY PARENTS RULE AND MY HEALTH AND EDUCATION AND PRIVATE LIFE ARE MORE IMPORTANT? YOU MAD CUS NOW YOU WISH U TOLD ME SOME NEXT SHIT LIKE'O I LIKE YOU'? SHE ACTIN LIKE SHE WANNA EAT ME OUT OR SOME SHIT,LIKE,DAMN BITCH BREATHE. I'M IN COLLEGE,NOT 3RD GRADE. I CONTACT MAJOR PEOPLE LIKE MEMBERS IN THE ARMED FORCES TO SET UP MEETINGS AND EVENTS,NOT BARNEY TO SING TO ME ABOUT PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY. LEMME SET THINGS STRAIGHT BITCH;IF I WANTED TO DEAL WITH THE IGNORANT :TRINIDADIAN MINDSET"THAT U ALWAYS BRAG ABOUT, I WOULD'VE MOVED THERE[NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE READING THIS WHO MAYBE TRINI,ITS JUST THIS BITCH IN PARTICULAR]. MY POINT IS IF YOU WAS A REAL FRIEND AND YOU WERE UPSET ABOUT THE SITUATION, YOU WOULD'VE SAID SOMETHIN TO ME,NOT MAKE IT ESCALATE INTO HOW FAR IT IS NOW. SO MY ADVICE TO THIS BITCH IS TO DO HERSELF A FAVOR AND DON'T BREATHE MY NAME CUS PLEASE BELIEVE,SHE ALREADY KNOW HOW I DO AND SHE KNOWS THAT I'M NO INTERNET THUG, I HANDLE MINE. AND IF I SAW THIS BITCH ON THE STREET, I WOULD HANDLE MINE..
SO LONG,FAREWELL.
FUCK YOU AND HAVE A TERRIBLE LIFE,JANELLE.
"GOOGLE ME BITCH, I'M REAL!"

BULLSHIT "FRIENDS"

SO, I HAVE THIS ONE FRIEND THAT I KNEW SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. WE WERE REALLL COOL,TALKED ABOUT WUTEVER AND SHARED THE SAME BIRTHDATE,WE WERE JUST A YEAR APART ME BEING THE YOUNGER ONE.

SO THIS YEAR,SHE PLANNED SOMETHIN AND WANTED ME TO HANG AND I TOLD HER I CAN'T GUARENTEE I''D BE THERE CUS I WANT TO BUT I STARTED CLASS THAT DAY,I HAD A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO AWAY FOR A WEDDING THAT NIGHT TOO...AND MY PARENTS WOULDN'T HAVE ALLOWED ME TO GO OUT THAT NIGHT BY MYSELF BECAUSE OF ME BEING ILL AND YOU KNOW,ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN. I DIDN'T GET TO TRAVEL SO I CALLED UP 3 FRIENDS TO MEET ME IN THE CITY AND I ONLY GOT TO GO BCUZ MY COUSIN WAS GONNA TRAVEL WIT ME THAT WAY I WOULDN;T BE ON THE TRAIN COMMIN BAC HOME BY MYSELF @ 2 IN THE MORNING. OKAY.

THIS "FRIEND" GETS UPSET CUS I DIDN'T TELL HER WUT I WAS DOIN N DIDN'T GO TO HER EVENT DELETES ME OFF OF HER FACEBOOK AND MYSPACE AND TELLS ME THAT'S NOT WHAT A FRIEND IS CUS SHE HEARD BOUT MY "PARTY[IDK WUT PARTY SHE TAKIN BOUT]THROUGH SUMONE ELSE. I FUCKIN TOLD HER ABOUT IT AND SHE WAS UPSET WHEN I TOLD HER BOUT THE ONE PERSON WHO SHOWED UP UN-INVITED WITHOUT MONEY! IF SHE THOUGHT I WAS BEIN SUCH A BAD FRIEND, WHY SHE WAIT TILL NOW TO DELETE ME?? WHAT THE FUCK IGNORANT IMMATURE TYPE OF BULLSHIT IS THIS??WELL FUCK YOU TOO THEN!

Whuz Reallii Ghud:Young wanna be's??

Whuz Reallii Ghud with these kids who think they're grown?? 12 and 13 with a boyfriend or girldfriend??At birthday parties dubbin and grindin on eachother like a bunch of horny senseless teens?? I've been takin note of these things and its no surprise to me the reason why kids today,especially our black children,are the way they are.

Look at the shit on tv.

Notice what happens on the streets...

But especially take note of what happens at home..parents cussin n beatin up on

eachother...moms smokin all the time,dad's drinkin whenever he get's the chance to breathe....

I hate what's goin on in today's world...especially with our young black and latino children. When i take my younger sister's to school on mornings,i see some of their fellow

schoolmates.Some girls are only 11 and have a coke bottle shape!!

Look at the way these designers models pose for certain shots. Yeah, i know,same shit u hear every otherday but this time u hearin

it from ME.

Yeah, do u

r job,model,get the product out there..

but lo

ok at the audience that you are attracting!

People see a young black

girl hanging out with a couple guys-Oh she's a slut! Or they see a young latina wearin some jeans that show her figure.

..so she's lookin for some....i think not. Young girls today just see fashion on a different level to what the older crowd would find pleasing. New fads? I tihnk not.Its simply history repeating itself with a little taste of modern style. But in all honesty i'm sick of these little junior highschoolers who think they're hot and got sidekicks and and g1's...its amazing...and some of them lose them and are on their 5th sidekick...

Its amazin wut parents would do to become their childs bff...be a parent..not their best friend...

WE ARE IN A FUCKING ECONOMICAL CRISIS FOR CRYIN OUTLOUD!!!

I just wish things were a little different. some people say its something in the water that makes kids today the way they are;gay or straight,grown before puberty strikes them. Me,on the otherhand, I don't think it has shit to do with the water as polluted as it be. I think its simple common sense and these kids got enough sense to know right from wrong.

Its up to them to be presented a situation and know what rules apply...

its a choice!do it or walk away... And if raised the right way,kids should'nt have to THINK about what to say if someone asked them to go to a party with strangers or smoke a blunt....

Straight up;i'm just sick of this shit....

>>KAZM out<<

DumbAss-ness

So,i write blogs at times just to vent on some situations. I'm really a down to earth person that everyone seems to love because i'm just laid back. But sometimes,little things REALLY get to me..and it has to take ALOT to get me frustrated.

For example, I have this one close friend of mine. I love this chick like a sister of my own..but at times she could be so stupid! Now,i'm not tryna come off as two faced, but she really does make me shake my head in upset.

I have a close friend of mine who i call hubby

[and he calls me wifey lol.so cute :]) and she hates his guts.

The reason whY?,well, I only found out just recently! So when we we're freshman in h.s. we all met up. And over time,she started havin feelings for him,but i guess you allknew that was commin.But for some reason, it never occured to me that she would like him! I mean yeah, I LOVE a guy,mixed too,with pretty,long black hair,like my "hubby"[hence tha nick name lol]and he had,overall,a great personality and still does.So,the whole drama,however,started when my friend said she liked him...but this apparently was like, a couple months AFTER we all met.Not like a year or two later. So she went up to him [and i'm now learning this,5yrs later lol]and told him"well,hey, I really like you and i was wondering if we could hook up,you know?"and he apparently gave her a sweet letdown,nothing hardcore and mean but he politely said "I like you too,but not that type of way..i really love how our friendship is goin ,tho,and i'd like to stay bestfriends,if you're down?"And she was like "um.ok"and after that,she just had like,a whole world of hatred towards him.

She even stayed online one night for a couple hours with him in a deep convo about this and that and what's gonna happen now[nothnig ever did happen,unfortunatly,so what could go on??other then him changin his mind?]

so that was freshman year...today everyoen's collegebound,already in college or working. She's in some kind of private institution and he goes to college locally.Every day,almost , I talk with the both of them. He always calls me up or texts me to see how i'm doin and wanting to know when we could chill...all that goodstuf and my homegirl always checks in on me too to see how i'm doin and we joke around,the usual,you know?But what kills me, is that she asks me all the time"So did[lets say his name is celery,lol]"Did Celery bother you today??"and i'd be like"Who tha hell is Celery??"cus she would just make up these names and expect me to know them lol and other times she would ask me if he talked about her to me or if he ever says anything about her and i'd be like no,because in all honesty,she's probally the last thing on his mind,if ever on his mind and even if he did talk to me about her,what buisness of hers is it?The same loyalty between me and her is the loyalty i give to him and the rest of my other close friends. I don't start trouble,there won't be no trouble and thats how i plan on keepin it. Another time,she liked this guy she'd recenty met somewhere and she was like,totally obsessed. The next thing you know,she was babbling off to me and other homies about him and had a lost for words,it was so cute cus she was finally over my friend,or atleast I thought so..

So anyway,she stayed online all fuckin day waitin for this new guy to come on and talk to herand this one night she stayed on till like 4 in tha mornin and he came on like half hour later lol and they talked till like..7 and then something went wrong. He asked her a question about certain places and she finally took it as a hint of what he's interested in and who he hangs out with...and to top it all off,the person he chose as a best friend is a guy dressed in female clothing-Yah,after seeing THAT much?I would've conjured up only so much from day one. The things he says,how he acts,places he hangs out in and who he hangs out with.. i mean,i'm not biased to anyone nationality, gender, sexual preference. I have many gay friends myself and I see them how i see everybody else;CRAZY lol.

But back to homegirl now.

And she get upset over the DUMBEST things! For example,he commented a friend of hers on FB. the friend had a pic of her dressed for a prty or someshit and the guy that homegirl liked made a comment about how good she looked.Why did homegirl call me like,5 in da morning like somethin happend cus i admit i was alarmed!It was bright and early and on saturdays,mannn i am kinocked tha fuck out lol.

But when she called me,she was soooo upset! I thought there was a fight {pero]noooo she was tight cus he commented HER FRIEND,who he's also cool wit,and he did'nt comment her.

Then she got mad cus one day he was in class talking to one of his boys about howhe was interested in her and she heard wrong and came over and cussed him out! I don't get it.she's crushin on tha guy,can't get him out of her head and then he asks her something and she put 2 and 2 together and becomed biased?Now she can't stand the sight of him!And our friends and I kept telling her"Yo,let him know how u feel who knows where it would go cus he was crushin on her too!!"

And although my hubby is old news,she always refreshes his page and has somethin to say about him to me everytime we speak!Its like,she'll never be over him,unfortunatly.And whenever she hears his name she-and i quote-"Gets sick to the stomach".She's sooo full of herself its not funny and on more then one occasion,as a friend,i had to let her know what i thought and what she should do. And it's like,when ur online,she'll text and say sum dumb shit and when u tell her the truth about her statements,she gets a quick hissy fit and she's like:"ok,well whatever...bye"And THAT REALLLY PISSES ME OFF...and she has lots of projefts due for school and she's lookin for jobs.She had an experiment on a site recenlty for a whole day and at the end of the day she would learn if she was hired or not.Unfortunatly she wasn't and so she went home upset.Which i totally understand.But then whiel talkin to me she rememberf she had shit due 2moro for class and shed hadn't done nothn.! so i says"We,,4get about me we can talk more tomorow,gohead and get wut u have to get down for class 2moro...and here's what pissed me off;she goes"Nah man, i gotta find a job!'

Tell me somethin,last i checked educuation mattered and you couldn't get a job without proper credentials,which u earn thru school...am I wronG?

Talk about DumbAss-Ness...SmDh...

An introduction

I am Kay

A person living

in a place

with a broken heart

on this earth

blue and green

that pretty colored rock

I'm the girl

who likes guys

scared to kiss one

blushes at the cute ones

i just wanna hug him

they really send me into shock

Kay's the girl

who rocks [HIS]world

he's obama and i'm his michelle

He sends me texts and constantlyquestions

when we'll be together

feignin to make "us" real

I really did like him

at one point

but he really pissed me off.
he showed up drunk

at a private affair

in search of me and then

i cut our connection off

I actually did like him

and that's no lie

i thought maybe

we could make it work

but if you expect me to just be a cuddy buddy

rightoff the back

i know ur a jerk

But lemme tell you...

We were cool

she was my best friend

there thru thick and thin...

but when we broke up...

she told me he was no good

and she was smilin bright within
i was tight but

i'm cool

cuZ its over now

she gave him head and

he left

but i knew that shit would happen somehow

Its a new me

same person

same shit different day

but that's life

now i could care less

what happens next

fuck the past

cuz i'm the chick

he wants to lick

the one who's face is in tha mix

who he pictures on hers

when he's tappin that ass
But overall i've matured

I see life from a different perspective

live life to the fullest

time waits 4 no one

so I do away with the clock...

Hi.

I am kay

A person

living in a place

with a broken heart

on this earth

blue and green

that pretty colored rock.